At this time I wished to look up from the Cross, and I dared not, for I was well-aware that while I gazed on the cross I was secure and safe…. Then I had a proposal in my reason (as if it were like a friend) which said to me, "Look up to heaven to His Father." I answered inwardly with all the powers of my soul and said, "No, I cannot, for Thou art my heaven." (This I said because I wished not to look up, for I had rather have been in that pain until Doomsday than to have come to heaven otherwise than by Him, for I was well-aware that He who bound me so painfully, He would unbind me when He wished.) So was I taught to choose Jesus for my heaven, whom I saw only in pain at that time. I delighted in no other heaven than Jesus, who shall be my bliss when I come there. And this has ever been a comfort to me:  that I chose Jesus for my heaven, by His grace, in all this time of suffering and sorrow. And that had been a learning for me that I should evermore do so, choosing only Jesus for my heaven in well and woe. (Ch. 19)